In real life, it’s inappropriate to vocalize every thought that pops into your head. However, in movies and TV, unfiltered characters are often fan favorites. Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anya is a treasured gem. Whether she’s bored with a conversation, doesn’t like somebody, or is just straight-up horny, she’ll express these thoughts to anyone within earshot. Not only can the viewer depend on Anya for comic relief, but they get to live vicariously through the effortless way in which she expresses herself.
But while Anya provides plenty of laughs, she’s also a fascinating character. She’s an ex-vengeance demon who hasn’t been a mortal for over a thousand years. Rediscovering humanity is a bumpy ride, mainly full of hilariously awkward moments, but Anya has real philosophical quandaries. In particular, she struggles to grapple with the fleetingness of human life. As fascinating as she is funny, here is Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 10 Best Anya Quotes.
10. “I like my money the way it is—when it’s mine.”
Shameless capitalism is part of Anya’s charm. Society hypocritically drills it into our heads that we should want as much money as we can get our hands on, but heaven forbid we actually express it. Shockingly, Anya doesn’t trip over that problem. And why should she? She may be clueless about societal rules, but she sure understands how money works. Anya doesn’t expect a pile of money to appear like a pot of gold. When her vengeance demon savings dries up, she gets a job at the Magic Box. Anya enjoys earning her money just as much as she does keeping it.
Spike has a cash flow problem after he gets the chip in his head. Unable to hurt anybody, he takes to threatening people into parting with their money. He makes a couple bucks, but when he tries to shake Anya down, Spike quickly realizes he picked the wrong ex-vengeance demon. Anya may be loose with her words, but she sure is tight with her cash.
9. “I don’t have a date for the prom…Men are evil. Will you go with me?”
For all the high school seniors out there, take note. This is the worst promposal ever. Generally speaking, when asked to prom, people don’t want to feel like they’re simply the next best thing to you going stag. Nor do they care to have their entire gender maligned.
When Anya asks Xander to the prom, she’s in between two worlds. She just spent the past thousand-plus years punishing the worst sort of men for their awful behavior. It’s understandable she may be a tad biased against them. But even in her short time as a human and high school student, Anya fully grasps the gravitas of senior prom. What’s more hilarious: How blatantly insulting Anya is? Or that her promposal actually worked?
8. “I have finesse. I have finesse coming out of my bottom!”
Only Anya could defend her finesse in the most obtuse way possible. In fact, of all the terms that would never be associated with Anya, “finesse” would easily make the top five. But she wants to prove herself to Giles, her employer, and this is her less-than-perfect way of assuring him she can run the Magic Box on her own.
Whoops. Giles isn’t gone five minutes when Anya and Willow’s bickering accidentally summons Olaf, Anya’s troll demon ex-boyfriend. One thing’s for certain—this hammer-wielding, mead-pounding brute won’t respond to delicacy. In order for Willow to perform the spell to get rid of Olaf, she ends up pleading with Anya to be as obnoxious as possible to distract him. Mission accomplished. As the Scoobies come to learn, sometimes finesse is overrated.
7. “Come in! Enjoy my personal space!”
Eliza Doolittle, Anya is not. She never fully blossoms into a proper lady. And honestly, where’s the fun in that? However, to her credit, Anya does give the whole politeness thing a whirl. After Xander leaves her at the altar, Anya takes a hiatus from the Scooby Gang. So the last thing she wants is one of them banging down her door needing help.
Still, if a few mortal years have taught her anything, it’s to invite a friend in if they come over. Even more to Anya’s credit, she really thinks this is a friendly greeting and completely misses her obvious disappointment of having her solitude shattered into a million needy pieces. And really, who hasn’t wanted to spit this gem out to a friend who just can’t take a hint?
6. “Oh, do you mean an orgasm friend?”
Anya doesn’t do subtext. On the other hand, Giles is a man of discretion. He tries ever so eloquently to explain to Xander and Anya why it’s their turn to babysit Spike. And for the love of Aphrodite, if anyone deserves a little adult fun, it’s Giles. Other than the bewitched encounter with Joyce, the only amorous activity Giles has partaken in on the show is with Olivia, his, ahem… orgasm friend.
Not that he’s particularly keen to share his sex life, or lack thereof, with the Scoobies. Most of them regard Giles as a father figure. There is an unspoken understanding that Giles stays out of the Scoobies’ bedroom lives, they stay out of his. But while Anya may understand the concept of friends with benefits, she certainly doesn’t know the meaning of the word “unspoken”.
5. “I provide much needed…sarcasm.”
It’s rare for Anya to be at a loss for words. That’s why she’s thrown off-kilter when Buffy questions Anya’s value to the Scoobies. Buffy’s vitriolic words are part of what Anya dubs Buffy’s “everyone sucks but me” speech. Anya isn’t the only target of Buffy’s wrath, but her response is the most memorable.
However, Anya isn’t giving herself enough credit—and Buffy definitely isn’t either. Being over a thousand years old, Anya’s been around the demon block. She has firsthand experience with all kinds of mystical beings that the others can only read about in history books. Anya frequently puts her life on the line to help the Scoobies, even though she’s petrified of her own mortality.
4. “I will keep fighting too.”
While Buffy questioned Anya’s value in the past, the Slayer sure learns to put a sock in it when Anya sacrifices her life in the fight against the First. In a heart-to-heart with Andrew, Anya reiterates her stance that humans are dumb. However, she also admits that she admires people’s ability to fight, even against insurmountable odds.
Over the course of her speech, Anya realizes that she’s proud to be a human, and a fighter at that. This is a total 180 compared to Season 3, when Anya skipped town in order to miss the Mayor’s Ascension. Anya’s grim fate makes this quote all the more painful, but also all the more poignant.
3. “Can I trade in the children for more cash?”
Anya doesn’t exactly understand the Game of Life, be it reality or board game. However, when it comes to the latter, Anya’s money obsession serves her quite well. Much to Xander and Dawn’s dismay, Anya dominates game night, with the Game of Life being her clear favorite. If only she wasn’t burdened with those pesky pink-or-blue pegs.
What makes this one of Anya’s funniest quotes is that it’s as genuine as it is audacious. Though she’s been a human for a little over a year, Anya still struggles to get some of life’s complexities. For example, the fact that you can’t return kids the way you would an item of unwanted clothing.
2. “No one will explain to me why.”
Anya is one of Buffy’s most humorous characters and her ability to bring the laughs is what cements her early fan favorite status. However, her reaction to Joyce’s death confirms that beneath Anya’s blunt, abrasive exterior is one of the show’s deepest characters. Anya may have seen loads of death in her demon days, but she never stuck around for the emotional aftermath.
Intellectually, Anya understands that she and all other mortals will one day die. But this is the first time Anya has experienced it happening to somebody she cares about. Death is concrete and final, but it also brings up a ton of questions, particularly for those new to the concept, like children and ex-vengeance demons. Anya’s plea for answers is one of the most tear-jerking moments of the entire series.
1. “I was being patient. But it took too long.”
While some Anya-isms are funny because they’re totally out of left field, others make us laugh because she’s one hundred percent saying what we’re all thinking. Yes, sometimes in life we have to wait. Doesn’t make it fun.
Whoever said “patience is a virtue” clearly didn’t have a commitment-phobic fiancé. Anya is ticked because Xander refuses to announce their engagement, allegedly out of respect for Buffy’s death. Yes, he’s being sensitive… to a point. While it would have been tacky to share the news at, say, Buffy’s wake, three months is more than enough of a mourning period. Anya’s not being impatient; she’s being perceptive.
